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Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of kids? Well here are some new episodes: Peanuts specials for kids of the 90's: We learn about VD in:"IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"Charlie and the little redheaded girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in:"I'M STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!"Is Linus gay?" ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN"Charlie moves back to his house in East L. A in:"OYE! VATO! QUE PASA, CARLITO MORENO?" See how the Peanuts Gang deals with date rape in:"NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!"Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in:"IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN"What goes on the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego "Mr. Clean" in:"GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN"Schroder teaches the Peanuts gang about getting high in:"ROLL US more...

Eight year old Johnnie came home from school one day. At the supper table he announced to his mother and father that tomorrow in school they were going to learn about sex education. The next evening at the dinner table Johnnie's mother asked, "Well Johnnie, what did you learn about sex education today?" Johnnie said, "I think the teacher said we should avoid inter-sections and buy condominiums."

"Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad""I Used Up All My Sick Days... So I Called In Dead""Husband and Cat Lost... Reward for Cat""Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton""Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt""Learn from Your Parents' Mistakes... Use Birth Control""If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees""If You Can Read This... Kiss A Teecher""Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up""If You Remember the' 60s, You Weren't Really There""Procrastinate Now""Rehab Is for Quitters"(Across a drawing of a skeleton) "Waiting for the Perfect Man""My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse.... ... He Couldn't do Better and I Couldn't Do Worse""The More I Learn About Women, the More I Love My Harley"

One does not learn computing by using a hand calculator, but one can forget arithmetic.

Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron," then we could
do without the ironing lady.
Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do
without the gardener.

Mullah Nasrudin, wisest man in Islam, entered England of a visit."Do you have anything to declare?" asked the customs inspector."No - sssssst, bzzz - nothing at all.""How long do you plan to stay?""Oh, about - ssssssssszzzzt, bzzz - about three weeks.""By the way, where did you learn English?""From the - bzzz, bzzz, sszzzzzzzzbzzz - radio."

Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron," then we coulddo without the ironing lady.Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could dowithout the gardener.