Lad Jokes / Recent Jokes

The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he`s sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him 50p. The boy looks at the coin and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father, you`re a virgin". The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark. Next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it`s a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing. The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad a pound coin. Once again the lad looks at the coin and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really are a virgin". At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that`s twice you called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?"

"Yes" says the brat, "a tight c*nt."

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?", Yes, I was a salesman in the country", said the lad.

The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you. The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5: 00 came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?".

"One" said the young salesman.

"Only one?" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth??.

"Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars" said the young man.

"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well", said the salesman "this man came in and I more...

The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he's sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him 50p. The boy looks at the coin and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father, you're a virgin".
The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark. Next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it's a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing. The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad a pound coin. Once again the lad looks at the coin and says, "Thanks very much Father, you are really a virgin".
At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that's twice you called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?"
"Yes" says the brat, "a tight c*NT."

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the area--you could get anything there.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Yes, I was a salesman in the country," said the lad.
The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss arrived and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Thirty-eight thousand, three hundred and thirty-four dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well," said the salesman, "This man came in and more...

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. At the end of his first day on the job his boss fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one," blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"100, 000 dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well," said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, more...

TALL, young and beautiful Moni, a feature writer in the Friday Times of Lahore, a paper edited by her sister, Jugnu Sethi (wife of publisher Najam Sethi), was in Delhi for a few days. While discussing problems facing the two countries, she agreed that in neither was family planning being taken as seriously as it deserved.

She was given many instances of the bungling done in India. She
was told of the fate of Raj Kumari Amrit Kaur's flirtation with the rhythm method.

The latter had introduced rosaries with beads of three colours indicating safe, doubtful and unsafe periods for sexual intercourse. She did not realise that most humans mated at night when colours were not visible. So down the drain went a few crore rupees.

Moni capped it with an anecdote from Pakistan. Volunteers were recruited from colleges and sent out to villages to explain the importance of limiting numbers of children. They were given condoms to be distributed free to those who more...

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said,"A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'. .. perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.
The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin. .. perhaps its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin. .. perhaps its aboot time you let me poot ma hand on more...