Kid Jokes / Recent Jokes

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh.
Father: Sikh
Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" " Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper,
it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."

Burlesque Show
The kid ran out of the burlesque show. The doorman grabbed him and asked what is the matter.
The kid said, "My Mama told me if I looked at anything bad I'd turn to stone.... and I can feel it starting!"

Rodney Dangerfield jokes

A girl phoned me the other day and said. ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all.

And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy.... I'd have nothing to play with.

During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

One day as I came home early from work. .... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy. ... Hey buddy. ... why are you doing that for? He said. ... Because you came home early.

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning. ... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

My mother never breast fed more...

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.