Kid Jokes / Recent Jokes

The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!" The man asks the kids what he is dressed up like for Halloween. The kid replies, "I'm an IRS agent." Then he takes 40 percent of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say thank you.

It was that time during the Sunday morning service for "the children's sermon," and all the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a Bitch to iron."

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."
Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt.
His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! more...

Young Dave was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Dave's porch watching the sun go down over the hills, Dave noticed his prize bull doing the business on one of his cows. He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the hard word on Mabel.
He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to be doing what that bull is doing."
"Well then, why don't you? "Mabel whispered back. "It is YOUR cow.

A kid and his father is walking down the street. And the kis cholcate fell down and picks it up and eat it. His father yells at him and tells him that, things which fall down. don't pick it up. we will buy a new one from store. And then 1 day when the father, mother and the kid is waking. His mom slips and fall down. His father tried to pick his wife up. ANd the kid yells never pick a thing when it fells down we will buy a new one.

There are currently 78 people named S. Claus
living in the U. S. -- and one Kriss Kringle.
(You gotta wonder about that one kid's parents)
December is the most popular month for nose jobs.
Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby
for every kid on earth: 333, 333 tons.
Number of reindeer required to pull a 333, 333-ton s
sleigh: 214, 206 -- plus Rudolph.
Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour.
With real beard: $20.
To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to
make 822. 6 visits per second, sleighing at 3, 000 times
the speed of sound.
At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.

This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh... well...ah....well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"
His mom says, "Why?!?"
And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"