Jean Jokes / Recent Jokes
An elderly man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the beautiful spring day, when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple making love in a field. Getting over his initial shock he said to himself,' Ah, young love... ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers... C'est magnifique!' and continued to watch, remembering good times. Suddenly he drew in a gasp and said,' Mais... Sacre bleu! Ze woman - she is dead!' and he hurried along as fast as he could to the town to tell Jean, the police chief.
He came, out of breath, to the police station and shouted,' Jean... Jean zere is zis man, zis woman... naked in farmer Gaston's field making love.' The police chief smiled and said;' Come, come, Henri you are not so old; remember ze young love, ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers? Ah, L'amour! Zis is ok.'
'Mais non! You do not understand; ze woman, she is dead!'
Hearing this, Jean leapt up from his seat, rushed out of the station, jumped on his bike, more...
More than thirty years ago when I first moved to Memphis TN in the United States, I traveled over to the state of Arkansas in search of an antique automobile museum which I was told was located in a public park named Petit Jean State Park.
I stopped at a rural grocery store to ask directions and, pronouncing the place name in my very best Louisiana Cajun French, asked for directions to Petit Jean.
The proprietor told me that he had never heard of any such place. I then explained that it was the location of an antique automobile museum to which he exclaimed, "Oh, you mean PETTY GENE!" and proceeded to give me explicit directions.
More than thirty years ago when I first moved to Memphis TN in the United States, I traveled over to the state of Arkansas in search of an antique automobile museum which I was told was located in a public park named Petit Jean State Park.
I stopped at a rural grocery store to ask directions and, pronouncing the place name in my very best Louisiana Cajun French, asked for directions to Petit Jean.
The proprietor told me that he had never heard of any such place. I then explained that it was the location of an antique automobile museum to which he exclaimed, "Oh, you mean PETTY GENE!" and proceeded to give me explicit directions.
Chuck Norris, Arnold Swartzenagger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day. Chuck Norris asked, "If you were a musician, who would you be?". Chuck Norris said, "I would be Motzart." Jean Claud VanDam said, "I would be Bethoven." Arnold said, "I'll be Bach!"
Jean Simmons, who played opposite Marlon Brando in'Guys and Dolls', died at the age of 80. However, due to major confusion at the funeral home, she was buried in a KISS casket.
I heard this one on the radio, offered up by a Cajun cafe owner in Louisiana, so read it with a French Cajun accent... Leetle Jean and heez father lived down on zee bayou. Jean wuz a very strong boy for all of heez ten years of age. One day Jean's papa asked Jean if he wuz zee one who had pooshed their outhouse into zee waters of zee bayou.
"Oh, no, Papa. I deed not do it!" say zee boy.
Now, Jean's papa knew that zee boy had a mean streak, and being zee strong youngun that he wuz, he wuz certain that Jean must have done zee deed.
He says: "Jean, now I really want you to tell me zee truth. Did you tip zee outhouse into zee bayou?"
"Oh, no, Papa. I wouldn't do that!" say leetle Jean.
Then Jean's Papa decides he must somehow win Jean's confidence to tell zee truth. He tells him zee following story.
"Jean, oncest upon a time, our first president, George Washington, wuz a leetle boy jus' like you. One day heez papa asked heem more...
THE ORIGINAL VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN CANADIAN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such more...