Italy Jokes / Recent Jokes

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?"Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law."No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?!
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership." He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence...
With a Little Help from Our Friends!
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting to please come out and give himself up...
And What Was Plan B?
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts...
And These Nitwits Are Teaching Our Children?!!
A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer more...

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?!
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence...With a Little Help from Our Friends!
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting to please come out and give himself up...And What Was Plan B?
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts...And These Nitwits Are Teaching Our Children?!!
A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a more...

Why did the Gorilla visit Italy? An advertisement's headline enticed him - See Ape-les and die!

(This has been kicking around for so long that I have absolutely no idea
of its origin.)
Documentation Sex Quiz
1. What are the fallopian tubes?
a. Bicycle tires
b. A subway in Italy
c. All of the above
2. What is a urethra?
a. A female black singer
b. The opposite of myrethra
c. Something you hang on your door for Chrithmeth
3. What is an ovary?
a. A book written by Flaubert
b. A passing grade at school
c. A famous WWII song
4. What is fellatio?
a. A person who collects stamps
b. Mr. Hornblower's first name
c. A non-dairy whipped topping popular in Italy
5. What is a testicle?
a. A test to see if you're ticklish
b. One of the two parts of the Bible
c. An octopus' arm
6. What is cunnilingus?
a. A form of pasta
b. The language of love
c. An Irish airline
7. What is a gonad?
a. A cheer for NAD high school
b. A person who wanders from place to more...

They were two guys who just loved Italian sausage touring Italy. Right before they left Italy they went on a tour of an Italian meat factory and talked to one Italian worker. They said "
can we see your Italian sausage?"
. The worker said with a smirk "
sure!"
and whipped out his ding-a-ling. The tourists were disgusted and ran away. They came upon another worker and asked him the same question. He said "
well if you really want to..."
and whipped out his thing. The tourists were disgusted and ran away. Finally when they were getting ready to leave they saw one more worker. So they decide to ask this guy the same question. The guys response was... "
hold on i keep it in the freezer"

Why is Italy shapped like a boot?
- Because they can't fit all
that crap in a tennis shoe.