Installation Jokes / Recent Jokes
Solitaire' 99Here is the README. TXT file from Microsoft's latest software product. Microsoft Solitaire' 98README file, v4. 3Welcome! Congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of Microsoft Solitaire' 98! This classic game has been a Windows fixture for many years, and after a long period of development, we are pleased to announce that it has been updated to take advantage of many exciting, Microsoft- pioneered technologies, such as "long filenames!" For years, our users have made demands, and Microsoft has listened. You told us that you wanted an operating system in which Solitaire was a seamless, integrated component. You wanted to blend in Solitaire with how you worked, how you played, and in general, you wanted Solitaire to *define your computing experience.* Solitaire' 98 brings this dream to a blissful reality. System Requirements:- 266 MHz Pentium II or better- 800 megabytes of free hard drive space (2. 1 gigabytes recommended)- 128 megabytes of RAM (256 more...
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and found that it`s a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.
She is now noticing that Husband 1. 0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed her that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
Not only that, Husband 1. 0 installs itself such, that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. She`s finding that some applications such as SpendingSpree 2. 4, GirlsNight 3. 5 and CocktailNight 7. 0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
During installation, Husband 1. 0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-ins such more...
Solitaire '99Here is the README.TXT file from Microsoft's latest software product. Microsoft Solitaire '98README file, v4.3Welcome! Congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of Microsoft Solitaire '98! This classic game has been a Windows fixture for many years, and after a long period of development, we are pleased to announce that it has been updated to take advantage of many exciting, Microsoft- pioneered technologies, such as "long filenames!" For years, our users have made demands, and Microsoft has listened. You told us that you wanted an operating system in which Solitaire was a seamless, integrated component. You wanted to blend in Solitaire with how you worked, how you played, and in general, you wanted Solitaire to *define your computing experience.* Solitaire '98 brings this dream to a blissful reality. System Requirements:- 266 MHz Pentium II or better- 800 megabytes of free hard drive space (2.1 gigabytes recommended)- 128 megabytes of RAM (256 megabytes more...
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.
She is now noticing that Husband 1. 0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed her that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
Not only that, Husband 1. 0 installs itself such, that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. She's finding that some applications such as SpendingSpree 2. 4, GirlsNight 3. 5 and CocktailNight 7. 0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
During installation, Husband 1. 0 provides no option as to the installation of more...
Solitaire `99
Here is the README. TXT file from Microsoft`s latest software product.
Microsoft Solitaire `98
README file, v4. 3
Welcome!
Congratulations!
Welcome to the wonderful world of Microsoft Solitaire `98! This classic game has been a Windows fixture for many years, and after a long period of development, we are pleased to announce that it has been updated to take advantage of many exciting, Microsoft- pioneered technologies, such as "long filenames!"
For years, our users have made demands, and Microsoft has listened. You told us that you wanted an operating system in which Solitaire was a seamless, integrated component. You wanted to blend in Solitaire with how you worked, how you played, and in general, you wanted Solitaire to *define your computing experience.*
Solitaire `98 brings this dream to a blissful reality.
System Requirements:
- 266 MHz Pentium II more...
Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the productbrochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 8.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired more...
Law #1: In any calculation, any error which can creep in will do so.Law #2: Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of most harm.Law #3: In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from engineering handbooks) are to be treated as variables.Law #4: The best approximation of service conditions in the laboratory will not begin to meet those conditions encountered in actual service.Law #5: The most vital dimension on any plan drawing stands the most chance of being omitted.Law #6: If only one bid can be secured on any project, the price will be unreasonable.Law #7: If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent production units will malfunction.Law #8: All delivery promises must be multiplied by a factor of 2.0.Law #9: Major changes in construction will always be requested after fabrication is nearly complete.Law #10: Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.Law #11: Interchangeable parts won't.Law #12: Manufacturer's more...