Injuries Jokes / Recent Jokes

Farmer Brown decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking companys fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown. "Didnt you say, at the scene of the accident, Im fine?" asked the lawyer. Farmer Brown responded, "Well Ill tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...""I didnt ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, Im fine!"Farmer Brown said, "Well I had just gotten Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to more...

A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a river near Naples, Italy, in 1983. He managed to break a window, climb out and swim to shore -- where a tree blew over and killed him.

Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on passed under a low-level bridge -- killing him.

Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so afraid of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to cure his toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused Hallas to fall down, hitting his head, and he died of a fractured skull.

Two West German motorists had an all-too-literal head-on collision in heavy fog near the small town of Guetersloh. Each was guiding his car at a snail's pace near the center of the road. At the moment of impact their heads were both out of the windows when they smacked together. Both men were hospitalized with severe more...

One morning Hitler walked into the Concentration camp and said. "Jews, today we are going to play waterpolo. You jews wear the white shirts and the crocodiles would wear nothing. If there would be any injuries during the game all jews are advised to wash themself in the pirrana infested pond before a medic would treat your injuries."

One morning Hitler walked into the Concentration camp and said. "Jews, today we are going to play waterpolo. You jews wear the white shirts and the crocodiles would wear nothing. If there would be any injuries during the game all jews are advised to wash themself in the pirrana infested pond before a medic would treat your injuries."

If a dog bites a man, they say, it is not news, but if a man bites a dog it certainly is. Well, yesterday this incident actually happened at the Pettah bus stand, Colombo. A man bit a dog. And this is how the different sections of the Sri Lankan press reported the event.

DAILY NEWS:
UNP THUG BITES A DOG
Yesterday, an innocent dog was bitten in front of a large crowd at the Pettah bus stand, by a man, who was later identified as a supporter of the opposition leader, Mr. Ranil Wickremasinghe. Daily News learns that the dog received only minor injuries but following the immediate intervention of the President HE Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunge, he was admitted to the intensive care unit of the Colombo General Hospital Canine ward. In a statement, President also condemned the attack and questioned how long the Opposition leader intends to maintain silence on the inhumanity and cruelty of his supporters over innocent animals.? We should take this act very seriously. more...