India Jokes / Recent Jokes

When tenders were floated for the channel tunnel to connect England and France, many international building companies vied with one another to get the contract. The stakes were very high; the job of digging beneath the sea required great engineering skill and building expertise. Tenders were opened by the Board of Directors of the Anglo-French Corporation which had taken on the project. British builders' estimates were over 200 million dollars each; French and German builders were marginally lower. There was one from India: Singh & Singh Builders whose estimate was only 5 million dollars. The Board was for ignoring the Indian tender but out of curiosity invited Singh & Singh over to discuss the plans.
Banta Singh and Santa Singh of Singh & Singh Builders appeared before the Board. The Chairman asked them "Have you any experience of undertaking this kind of work?"
"Indeed we have," replied the two Singhs, "we bored a lot of tubewells in the Punjab and more...

Three countries india, america & u. k were making a rocket america: we will make the upper part. U. k: we will make the lower part. India: we will write on that made in india.

Gates: Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo: Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept. Gates: At home have u installed Windows?
Laloo: I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house. Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo: OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month. Gates(Sweating): Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net. Gates: By the year 2010 India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips. Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap. Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo: RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A. P.. Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave more...

The passengers were leaving the Air India plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied Kanjibhai paused to congratulate the flight attendant.

"Stewardess," Kanjibhai said happily, "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time. It's not often that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will. I'm going to call your Air India home office and let them know how pleased I am."

"Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answered,

"but I think you should know--this is yesterday's flight."

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a. m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in.... AMERICA.....

Seeing Santa Singh depressed one of his friends asks him.
“Oye why are you sad? ”
To which Santa replies …“I lost Rs 300 in bet. ”
His friend ask hims…“How? ”
Santa Singh says.. “I bet on India for Rs 200…”But unfortunately India lost
His friend queries.. “But you said Rs 300…”
Santa Singh answers…“I again bet for India for Rs 100 in the highlights of the match”

Baby Girl in India Born with Two Faces



The baby...has been drawing a stream of curious observers and others who consider her a deity in this deeply religious Hindu-majority country. The girl has found easy acceptance in Kumar's large, extended family...."This child is very special to us," the baby's grandfather chimed in, gazing lovingly at the infant

So now we know the secret to not getting buried in the desert if you're born female in India: Deformity.