Hubby Jokes / Recent Jokes

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this week-end and my fiancée thinks I'm a virgin, is there anything you can do to help me"?
After the doctor stopped laughing, he says, " Medically, no but here's something you can try....on the wedding night, when you're getting ready for bed, take a elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh, when your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping."
The woman loves this idea, and knows her hubby - to - be will fall for this.
They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her legs, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man.
Things begin to progress, her hubby "slips it in" she snaps the elastic band, and hubby asks, "what the *@#% was that?
The wife explains, "oh nothing honey, more...

Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Wife - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Hubby - You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife - Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Hubby: "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?"
Wife: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Hubby: "You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Wife: "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself - What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
Wife: "You're gonna be really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!"
Hubby: "Make up your mind! Which one is it gonna be?"

Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.Why?
Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Hubby: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well, that's because we aren't married yet!
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Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap!
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Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at more...

This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench if from of a large pond. Across the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and say, "I could really go for an ice cream cone." Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one." Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down." Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?" Wife says, "Get me a Strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles." Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember. Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost." The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted." The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries?! Wife says, "I knew you you should have written the order down." Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there?" To which the wife replies, more...

I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla.
"But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded.
"He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."

On their wedding night the new couple are just about to do the deed when the wife tells her new husband that she has a confession.
"I lied when I told you I was a virgin. I have been with one other man" she tells her new hubby.
The new husband asks if it was anyone he knows?.
The wife answers...well maybe!
Husband asks who it was.
The wife answers - it was Tiger Woods.
Since the only other person his new bride every slept with was the famous Tiger Woods, he's not at all upset and they get down to it and do the honeymoon "thing". When finished, the husband gets out of bed and reaches for the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asked his bride.
"I'm calling for room service. After all that work I'm hungry!"
The wife says, "Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Really! Just what would TIGER do?" says the husband.
Well we would do it again!
Ok says the husband and jumps into the bed.
This same more...