Hosea Jokes / Recent Jokes

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
-- Deuteronomy (Deuteronomy 21: 11-13)

Find a prostitute and marry her.
-- Hosea (Hosea 1: 1-3)

Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
-- Moses (Exodus 2: 16-21)

Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
-- Boaz (Ruth 4: 5-10)

Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
-- Benjaminites (Judges 21: 19-25)

Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you rib.
-- Adam (Genesis 2: 19-24)

Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marrige. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. (That's right: fourteen years of toil for a more...