History Jokes / Recent Jokes

What will Bill Clinton be known for in history? The president after Bush!

Earliest Remembrances
What's his name?
How old is he?
Isn't he the cutest thing?
Did my lil' man lose his blankee?
Early
How's School?
And just who do you think you are?
Can't you act your age?
And just what were you doing to the dog with that eggbeater?
Pre-Teen
What do you mean you don't understand History/English?
You call that cleaning your room?
Who told you you could play baseball/basketball?
How in the world could you lose your homework?
Adolescence
Why are you failing History/English/French?
May I see your license and registration please?
Is any girl worth moping around about? A boy your age!
How in the world could you lose your wallet/sneakers/hat?
Post Adolescence
Exactly how long had you planned to stay in college?
Why in the world would you want to join the Navy?
Why can't you settle down with a nice girl?
When will you learn you can't go around saying what you think?
Early more...

Once some burgulars broke out in the bank, one of them pointing the gun on the cashier. He said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!"

The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY."

The burgular answered, "Don't change the subject."

Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?Because there were so many knights!

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbor?Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says, "Heres a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!"What else do you have?" asks the student."Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?"The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment." He goes back into the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter."I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know. .. mat h always was a little hard to swallow."

Man: "How's your history paper coming?"

Woman: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it's been very helpful.

Man: "Really?"

Woman: "Yes! I've already located 17 people who sell them!"