History Jokes / Recent Jokes
Doctor Bumblings Actual writings on hospital charts by Doctors:
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert butforgetful.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia more...
Youve failed history again! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones!
Teacher: Raghu, What Are You Scribbling On Your Fingers?
Raghu: Historical Dates
Teacher: Why?
Raghu: Because Our History Teacher Says That We Should Always Have Imortant Historical Dates On Our Finger Tips.
Why did the Romans build straight roads? So their soldiers didnt go around the bend!
Gentlemen: I have been riding trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. Iam tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. Ithink the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people2,000 years ago.Yours truly, A Commuter Dear Sir: We received your letter withreference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you aresomewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation2,000 years ago was by foot. Sincerely, The Railroad Gentlemen:I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who areconfused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible, Book ofDavid, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on hisass. That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do onyour train in the last two years.Your truly, A Commuter
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the as their middle names!