Hiker Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"

So these three people are hiking in a forest, and all of a sudden these headhunters catch them and bring the hikers to the head headhunter.
The head headhunter says "If you want to live you must complete some tasks. First you must go into the forest, pick some fruits, and bring them back"
So the hikers did that and came back.
The head head hunter said "Now you must take the fruits you picked and stick them up your ass."
So the first hiker has apples... Ok, apples it shouldn't be too hard.
1 up okay... 2 up the hiker starts screeming, so the headhunters chop off his head.
The second hiker has grapes. Ok, grapes this should be easy!
1 up okay... 2 up fine... 3... 4 the hiker starts laughing like crazy! The headhunters chop off his head.
So the two hikers who got their heads chopped off are up in Heaven and the hiker who had the apples askes the hiker who had the grapes "What happened... you had grapes, I mean you got killed c'mon more...

So these three people are hiking in a forest, and all of a sudden these headhunters catch them and bring the hikers to the head headhunter.The head headhunter says "If you want to live you must complete some tasks. First you must go into the forest, pick some fruits, and bring them back"So the hikers did that and came back.The head head hunter said "Now you must take the fruits you picked and stick them up your ass."So the first hiker has apples... Ok, apples it shouldn't be too hard.1 up okay... 2 up the hiker starts screeming, so the headhunters chop off his head. The second hiker has grapes. Ok, grapes this should be easy! 1 up okay... 2 up fine... 3... 4 the hiker starts laughing like crazy! The headhunters chop off his head.So the two hikers who got their heads chopped off are up in Heaven and the hiker who had the apples askes the hiker who had the grapes "What happened... you had grapes, I mean you got killed c'mon what happened?"The guy who had more...

A hiker gets lost in the woods and spends the next two days wandering around with no food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle on a ledge, hits it with a big rock, and begins eating it raw. A park ranger stumbles on the scene and arrests the hiker for killing an endangered species. In court the hiker explains that he was on the edge of starvation and had no choice.
"Considering the circumstances, I find you not guilty," says the judge. "But I have to ask—what did the eagle taste like?"
"Well, your honor," the hiker says, "it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl."

there was these two lesbians and they pick up a hitchhiker and everytime they stop at a red light one lesbian would say 1 2 3 4 green light and the hitch hiker would say how to you know that and the lesbian would say lesbians know everything they stopped at a another red ligt and the other lesbain siad 1 2 3 4 green light and the hitch hiker would say how to you know that and the lesbian would say lesbians know everything
whats that thing when you go to someone house and you push it and it makes a ringing sound________
a. doorbell
B.mailbox
C a car
if u pick A
lesbians know everything

Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.
The second hiker says, "What are you doing?"
The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it."
The second says, "Are you crazy? Don’t you know you can't outrun a bear?
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"

Lost in the woods, a hiker spends two days wandering around with no food. finally, he spots a bald eagle, hits the bird with a big rock and eats it. a ranger sees him and arrests the man for killing an endangered species.
In court, the hiker explains that he was on the edge of starvation and had no choice.
"Considering the circumstances, I find you not guilty," says the judge, "but I have to ask you-what did the bird taste like?"
"Well, Your Honor," the hiker replies, "It tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl."