# Hector Jokes

## The Math Test

The Math Test California officials have determined that students would probably do better with math word problems, if they could relate them to real life examples. Towards that end, may I present: The City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency ExamName:_______________________________ Gang:___________________________ 1.Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload? 2.Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for \$320 and 2 grams to Billy for \$85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it? 3.Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is \$65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his \$800-per-day crack habit? 4.Jarome want to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need? 5.Willie gets \$200 more...

## Culturally normalized standard test

Recently, somewhere in the US a teacher gave his class a not-too-kosher maths test which landed him in the proverbial soup. The original was edited and given to the class in all seriousness (I think). But there was some logical reasoning behind it!
Many people claim the reason innner city students do poorly on standardized tests is because the tests are culturally biased as part of an evil white surburbanite plan. This is of course a much more likely explanation than the idea that drugs, running gun battles and teen pregnancy are disruptive to education.
So, here's a culturally normalized standard test. City of East Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Final Exam
Name: ____________
Alias: ____________
Gang: ____________
Johnny has an AK-47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots, and he shoots 13 times at every drive by shooting, how may drive by shootings can he attend before he has to reload? Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he more...

## Dear Mum

Dear Mom,

Our scoutmaster told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only two of our tents and four sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Jeff when it happened. Oh yes, please call Jeff's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search & rescue jeeps. It was neat.

We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Hector for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Hector said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn't burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. Larry is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car more...

## Knock Knock - Hector

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Hector!
Hector who?
Hector, I'm glad I met ya!

## Culturally normalized standard test

Recently, somewhere in the US a teacher gave his class a not-too-kosher maths test which landed him in the proverbial soup. The original was edited and given to the class in all seriousness (I think). But there was some logical reasoning behind it!
Many people claim the reason innner city students do poorly on standardized tests is because the tests are culturally biased as part of an evil white surburbanite plan. This is of course a much more likely explanation than the idea that drugs, running gun battles and teen pregnancy are disruptive to education.
So, here's a culturally normalized standard test.
City of East Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Final Exam
Name:____________
Alias:____________
Gang:____________
Johnny has an AK-47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots, and he shoots 13 times at every drive by shooting, how may drive by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?
Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells more...