Hauled Jokes

A monastery perched high upon a cliff and the only access to reach it was by way of riding in a basket which several monks hauled up to the top.Obviously the ride over the rocky jagged terrain was steep, and in a wicker basket, terrifying to all but the naively fearless.One visitor, however, got exceedingly nervous. Roughly halfway up he saw that the rope by which he was being hauled was rather frayed and splitting. Shaking in his boots but unable to move, he frantically asked the monk who was seated next to him how often they changed the rope.Thinking for a moment, the monk answered, "Whenever it breaks."

It was a warm, summer evening and Ma and Pa were sitting on the porch swing enjoying the night sounds.
Suddenly, without reason, Ma hauled off and cuffed Pa a good one right upside the head, causing him to fall off the swing.
Dazed, Pa pulled himself up and asked, "What the hell was that for?"
"That was for 30 years of bad sex!" Ma said. Without replying, Pa sat back down on the swing next to Ma.
After a few minutes of silence, Pa hauled off and smacked Ma upside the head equally hard, knocking her off the swing.
Dazed, Ma pulled herself up and asked, "What was that for?"
"That's for knowing the damn difference!" Pa growled.