Hard-on Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man has been married to his wife for over 20 years and during the past 5 years he has been unable to obtain an erection. He feels just horrible because he is unable to have sex with his wife. He fears his wife may leave him for another man. Out of desperation the man has gone to every doctor and expert in the area. Despite numerous tests and suggested remedies, no reason for his impotence can be found and no cure has worked. The man decides to share his problem with his best friend. His best friend gets all excited and says, "I know who can help you! There is mystic and he was able to help someone else I know with the same problem! You must go see him!"So the man takes his friend's advice and goes to visit this curious mystic. The man explains his problem, the mystic looks him over and says, "Ah, yes, indeed I can offer a temporary cure." The man is just elated, he tells the mystic, "Whatever it is, please do it! I want to be able to have sex with my wife, more...

    A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

    A man joins a nudist colony. He pays his dues, gets his membership kit and
    key, and enters the compound.
    A six-foot blonde walks by, and he gets a hard -on-
    Blonde:"Sir, did you just call for me?"
    New Man:"No i just got here."
    Blonde:"You must be new here. It's rule when i give you hard-on,
    implies that you called for me."

    The blonde lies down and lets the man screw her. He
    gets up, happy and heads into the sauna, sits down, and farts. A huge man comes over
    to him.
    Huge Man:"Sir, did you call for me?"
    New Man:"I just got here."
    Huge Man:" You must be new here. It's rule that when you
    fart, that you called for me."
    The huge man turns him around and sodomizes him.
    The new man rushes back to the receptionist.
    New Man:"Here's your card and key back. You can keep the $500
    membership fee. I'm outa
    Receptionist:" But more...

    Three couples (friends) travel together to a resort hotel, only to find that their reservations have been screwed up and they all have to stay in one room.
    There are 2 king-sized beds and it is decided that the men will all sleep in one, and the women in the other.
    In the middle of the night, the guy in the middle wakes up and says to the man next to him, "Let me out, I have GOT to get to my wife! I have the biggest hard-on I have ever had and I've got to get to her NOW!"
    The other guy says, "O. K. Do you want me to come with you?"
    "What the hell for?" asks the other.
    "Because that's MY dick you're holding!" he says.

    A hard-on does not count as personal growth.

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