Grenade Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? - Take the pin out of it and throw it back!!! What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? - RUN she’s got a grenade in her hand!!! Why did God make blondes 2% smarter than horses? - So they don’t shit in the street during a parade. What do call three blondes in a freezer? - Frosted flakes

So Al Davis had put together the perfect Raiders team for' 98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win.

Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away, ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away-ka-blooey! A car passes going 90 miles an hour-bulls-eye! Right into the barely open window.

"I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Raiders go on to win the more...

One day there was a weight lifter, a priest, and an army general in a plane. It was going down so the pilot told them each to throw one thing out. So the army guy threw out a grenade, the priest threw out a bible, and the weight lifter threw out a weight. The plane was still falling so the three men jumped off. Tey landed safely and started walking down the street talking about what just happened. When they saw a man crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said he got hit in the head with a weight. The men felt sorry, but nonetheless kept walking. This time they saw a little girl praying in the middle of the street. They asked her why she was praying, and she said she got hit in the head with a bible, and that it was a sign from above. They kept on walking. this time they saw a little boy laughing hysterically. they asked him why, and he said he farted and his house blew up.

Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away -- ka- boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away -- ka-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90 mph -- bulls-eye! "I've got to get this guy!" Ross said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football, and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history. The young Bosnian is lioni zed as the Great Hero of football, and when Ross asks him what he wants, all the young man more...

When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam." Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?" In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin -- and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn’t find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away - ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away - ka-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90 mph - bulls-eye!
“I’ve got to get this guy! ” Ross said to himself. “He has the perfect arm! ”
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football, and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history.
The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of football, and when Ross asks him what he wants, all the more...