Granddaughter Jokes

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's
hopelessly lost. It's been
nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything
besides what he could
forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves
and under trees.
One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the
woods. It has vines
covering most of it and the man can't see any
other buildings in the area.
However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney
implying someone is
home.
He knocks on the door and an old man answers,
with a beard almost down
to the ground. The old man squints his eyes and
says "What do you want?"
The man says "I've been lost for the past three
weeks and haven't had a
decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be
most gracious if I could
have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight"
The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come in on
one condition: You
cannot mess more...

Once there was an old grandmother who believed in taboo. On New Year's Year's Day and other festival days, she would try only to say nice things, and never let the word "no" rashly fall from her mouth. One lunar New Year's Day, as soon as the granddaughter passed her a bowl of sweet rice porridge. She drank it up joyfully. "Grandma, will you take another bowl of rice porridge?", asked the granddaughter. "All right," replied the grandmother. The little girl passed her the second bowl of rice porridge and quickly she drank it. "Some more rice porridge?", asked the granddaughter. The grandmother thought that during New Year's Day she couldn't say "no", and so she replied promptly, "O. K., I'll drink a third bowl." In this way the grandmother drank six bowls, and her stomach was like a big drum. The little girl who wasn't very sensible still asked persistently. "Grandma, would you like to drink some more sweet rice more...

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost.
It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees. One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most of it and the man can't see any other buildings in the area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying someone's home.
He knocks on the door and an old man answers, with a beard almost down to the ground. The old man squints his eyes and says "What do you want?"
The man says "I've been lost for the past three weeks and haven't had a decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be most grateful if I could have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight"
The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come in on one condition: You cannot mess around with my granddaughter"
The man, exhausted and hungry readily agrees, saying "I more...

Once there was an old and very wise man. Every day he would sit outside a gas station in his rocking chair and wait to greet motorists as they passed through his small town. On this day, his granddaughter knelt down at the foot of his chair and slowly passed the time with him.

As they sat and watched the people come and go, a tall man who surely had to be a tourist
since they knew everyone in the town
began looking around as if he were checking out the area for a place to live.
The stranger walked up and asked,"So what kind of town is this that we're in?"
The older gentleman slowly turned to the man and replied," Well, what kind of town are you from?"
The tourist said,"In the town I'm from everyone is very critical of each other. The neighbours all gossip about everyone, and it's a real negative place to live. I'm sure glad to be leaving. It is not a very cheerful place. "
The man in the chair looked at the more...

A man was traveling through the jungle for days growing tired he passes by a house and decides to ask if they could put him up for the night. After knocking on the door an old Chinese guy with a beard that reached the floor answers.

The man asked him if he could stay the night and the Chinese guy agreed as long as he didn't screw his granddaughter. Before the guy could agree the old man warned him that if he did he would perform the three greatest Chinese tortures on him.

The guy says o. k. and the man lets him in. When it was time for dinner the man meets the granddaughter and she is the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

So after he figured the old man was asleep he went into her room and made love to her. The next morning the man awoke with a 100lbs rock on his chest with a sign "first Chinese torture wake up with 100 pound rock on chest".

Being a strong man he thought nothing of it and picked up the rock and threw it out more...