Governor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Morris, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Morris for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Morris had been his closest friend.So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Morris' job. "They don't even have the decency to wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered.At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor's side. "Governor," the man said, "is there a chance that I could take Morris' place?""Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished."

The chief asked: "Who is in the limo, the mayor?"
The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor."
Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?"
The policeman answered: "No, someone more important than the governor."
The chief finally asked: "Is it the President?"
The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President."
This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: "Now who is more important than the President?!"
The policeman calmly wispered: "I'll put it to you this way chief. I don't know who is this guy, but he has the pope as his chauffeur."

Loretta Nall is making quite a splash as the write in candidate for Alabama governor's race. What started a s a big joke has gotten her a spot in the lime light. Just another point showing sex sells and men aren't picky.

Her campaign is offering T-shirts and marijuana stash boxes adorned with a photo of her with a plunging neckline and the words: "More of these boobs." Below that are pictures of other candidates for governor -- including Republican incumbent Bob Riley and Democratic Lt. Gov. Lucy Baxley -- and the words: "And less of these boobs."

Maybe she will get elected and set the women of Alabama back another 50 years.

"I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job"--George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign"This is a great day for France!"--Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral"Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know?. .. I bet if they did, I hope I would say,' Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'"--George Bush, talking about drug abuse to a group of students"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex. .. uh... setbacks." --George Bush"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change." --Dan Quayle"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here." --Dan Quayle during a more...

A mystery surrounding the whereabouts of South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford was apparently solved late Monday when a Sanford spokesman said he was hiking along the Appalachian Trail. The spokesman said the governor was upset and just wanted to be alone after learning that Jon and Kate were getting a divorce.

Morris, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Morris for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Morris had been his closest friend. So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Morris' job. "They don't even have the decency to wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered. At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor's side. "Governor," the man said, "is there a chance that I could take Morris' place?" "Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished."

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope''s authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.

They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it.

The chief asked: "Who is in the limo'', the mayor?" The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor."

Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?" The policeman answered: "No, someone more important than the governor."

The chief finally asked: "Is it the President?" The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President."

This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: more...