Genie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold a real Genie appeared.
Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope...not these days...I'm only giving out 1 wish because of inflation. So...what'll be?"
Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Are you crazy! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish."
Bill thought for a minute and said, "You know, people really don't like my wife. They think she's a real witch and ugly as sin. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her. That's what I want!"
The Genie thought for a minute and said, more...

A phsyciatrist is walking down a beach in Hawaii when she tripped over something. She went back to see what it was and found that it was a lamp. She picked it up and a genie popped out. The genie said "For freeing me I will grant you one wish." "Alright, " said the phsyciatrist " I want a highway from California to Hawaii." "Are you serious," The genie exclaimed "Think of all the concrete it would need all the pilings and all that jazz, that would take forever!" "OK then," said the phsyciatrist "I want to understand my patients know whats up with them," and the phsyciatrist goes on and on with what she wants " You read me" " Uhhuh " said the genie " So do you want two lanes or four?"

Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold a real Genie appeared.Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope...not these days...I'm only giving out 1 wish because of inflation. So...what'll be?"Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Are you crazy! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish."Bill thought for a minute and said, "You know, people really don't like my wife. They think she's a real witch and ugly as sin. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her. That's what I want!"The Genie thought for a minute and said, "Hmmmmm. Lemme see that map more...

so a golfer find a magical lamp and a genie appears and says i will grant you three wishes the only cacth is your wife recives 10 times more than what you wish for.so the golfer wishes to be the best golfer in the world so the genie blinkes and the guy becomes the best golfer in the world and the genie says he is the best golfer in the world but your wife is going to beat you like a drum. feeling badthe golfer wishes to be the richest man in the world. the genie blinkes and the guy becomes the richest man in the world, but his wife can now buy and sell him 20times over. feeling bumed out so the golferwishes to have a mild heart-attack

There was this mexican who was walking down a beach when he found a bottle that contained a genie.
Well he rubbed the bottle and the genie said, "I'll grant you one wish".
So the mexican says - "ok, I wanna be white and I wanna be surrounded by a pussy".
The genie grants the mexicans wish...and turned him into a tampon!

Once upon a time, a man happened upon a magical lamp. He rubbed it and a genie came out.
"Are you going to give me three wishes?" the man asked.
"No," said the genie. "I am a rare and mystical question genie. I am way more honorable than a simple wish genie! You may ask me three questions."
The man thought for a while about what he wanted to ask. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to unlock the secrets of the world.
Finally, he said, "Okay, here's what I want to know: What is the cure for the common cold? How can perpetual motion be created? And where can a fuel source, that is clean and reusable and will replace all the others, be found?"
The genie nodded and walked off. Puzzled, the man came after him.
"Hey," he said somewhat angrily, "aren't you going to answer my questions?"
The genie stopped and looked at him with an incredulous expression; "Who the hell do you think I am? A more...

There was this mexican who was walking down a beach when he found a bottle that contained a genie.Well he rubbed the bottle and the genie said, "I'll grant you one wish".So the mexican says - "ok, I wanna be white and I wanna be surrounded by a pussy".The genie grants the mexicans wish...and turned him into a tampon!