Geek Jokes / Recent Jokes
Top Ten Signs You are an Internet Geek...10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.4. You introduce your wife as "my lady
New Corporate Buzz Words for the 90's
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and then leaves.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops more...
Top Ten Signs You are an Internet Geek... 10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address. 9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?" 8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail. 7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food. 6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you. 5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest. 4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home. wife" and refer to your children as "client applications". 3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server". 2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so "colon-right parentheses!"And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek: 1. Two Words: "Pizza's more...
How do you know if you are a geek?
Your computer cost $6, 000 and your car cost $500. 00
Blame storming - sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid sentence.
Cube farm - an office filled with cubicles.
Ego surfing - scanning the Net, databases, print media etc. looking for references to one's own name.
Prairie dogging - something loud happens in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
Idea hamsters - people who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Mouse potato - the on-line generation's answer to the couch potato.
Ohnosecond - that minuscule fraction of time in which you realize you've just made a big mistake.
SITCOM - stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
Stress puppy - a person who thrives on being more...
Top Ten Signs You are an Internet Geek... When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?" Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail. You're amazed to find out spam is a food. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home. wife" and refer to your children as "client applications". At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server". After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so "colon-right parentheses!" Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"