Frivolous Jokes

Top Five Most Frivolous Cases Filed By New York City Prisoners* Francis Hugh Smith claimed New York owed him US$10 million because faulty medical care caused amnesia that made him leave his work-release job and forget to return to prison.* Anthony Malloy sough "US$989 billion trillion" because he said prison guards beat up his jacket, which he was not wearing at the time. His case was dismissed.* Anthony Gill claimed secondhand cigarette smoke from other inmates caused him medical problems -- altho' he buys cigarettes from the prison commissary.* Jose Reyes wants US$1000 because the state made him eat vegetable diet loaf after he violated prison rules. He said he lost 450g.* Thomas Higgins sued the state for US$10,000 because a prison laundry machine broke and he claims a constitutional right to clean clothes and blankets.

Dear Margaret,
I have become a little older since we last saw each other, and a few changes have taken place in my life since then. To be perfectly frank with you, I have become a frivolous old gal and am seeing five gentlemen daily.
As soon as I awake, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then, I go to see John. Then, Charlie Horse comes along. When he's here, he tends to take a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays for the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day, I find I'm quite tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life! Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zimer.
Your good friend,
Edith
PS. The good Reverend came to call the other day and said that at my age, I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him I do that all the time. It doesn't matter where I am... in the kitchen, the parlor, upstairs, down in the basement, I more...

America's jailbirds don't give up. Disappointed by the criminal justice system, this plucky lot still has faith in the civil side. Last year, the states spent $81 million defending what state attorneys general called frivolous lawsuits. Here are a few favorites:

A Virginia inmate tried to sue himself for $5 million on the grounds that he had gotten drunk and caused himself to violate his religious beliefs by committing a crime. Because he had no money, he wanted the state to pay the $5 million.

A convicted New York rapist sued the state, claiming he lost sleep and suffered headaches and chest pains after being given a "defective haircut" by an unqualified barber.

A Nevada inmate sued when he ordered two jars of chunky peanut butter at the Nevada State Prison canteen and received one chunky and one creamy.

A San Quentin death row inmate sued California, claiming his civil rights were violated because his packages were sent via UPS more...