Freezing Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot.
    Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us."
    The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't more...

    An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old pen buggy one cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up." So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, "My hands are freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put them between my legs, they'll warm up." The next day, the boyfriend was again driving in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up." He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boyfriend was once again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid." The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of more...

    Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"
    She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up."
    After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says gain "Man! My hands are really freezing!"
    She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and warm them up."
    He does, and again that warms him up.
    After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night.
    When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!"
    She looks at him and says, "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DON'T YOUR EARS EVER GET COLD?"

    Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood.
    When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"
    She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up."
    After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!"
    She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and warm them up."
    He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night.
    When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands arereally freezing!" She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your *ears* ever get cold?"

    Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot. Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us." The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't understand more...

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