Freds Jokes

Freds new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip.

Freds class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when she got home. "Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to a dead zoo."

Teacher: You copies from Freds exam paper didnt you? Pupil: How did you know? Teacher: Freds paper says "I dont know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

Freds mother was on the telephone to the boys dentist. "I dont understand it," she complained, "I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but youve charged me $80." "It is usually $20, maam," agreed the dentist, "but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!"

On Freds 17th birthday, his Dad said hed take him out for his first driving lesson. As they got in the car, the father said, "Just one thing, Fred. If youre going to hit anything, make sure its cheap."