Forward Jokes / Recent Jokes

Johnny Raper, the legnedary StGeorge player from the 1950s and 1960s passed away. The Rugby League World was in mourning. This was a bad day for Rugby League and Australian Sport.
While the StGeorge fans and others mourned, Johnny was being transported up to the Gates of Heaven, where he as greeted by a man.
"Hell Mr Raper! You are a legend. You were one of the immortals - a legend in your own lifetime. I watched you and you will have no problems getting through this gate."
"Gee Thanks" Johnny replied.
"I do have to ask you, if there is anything you should tell me, which would prevent you from passing through these gates?"
"Well..... in one of those Grand Finals out of the 11 in a row we won, there was a forward pass I threw to send one of out players in for the winning try"
The Man at the Gates laughed.
"No. I had a very close look at that, it was fair and square."
"Really, I know it was a more...

The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado in Kansas, and off they spin to the Land of OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard."WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly:"I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage.""No problem" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?"Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well.., Well.., Well.., I need a brain.""Done" says the Wizard."Who comes next before the Great Wizard?"Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that Ineed a heart.""I've heard it's true" says the Wizard. "Consider it done."Then there is a great silence.Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word.Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE EMERALD CITY!?"And Willie more...

Once there was this woman, who was, sad to say, very flat across
the upper body. Year after year of seeing beautiful, large-breasted
women walking away with handsome guys finally got to her. She decided
that she would have large tits at any cost.
At first she went to a breast treatment center and asked for larger
breasts. After several weeks, despite all the injections and fillers
they had given her, her breasts were no larger. She despaired. She
went everywhere, but everything she tried came to no avail.
So she went home and cried and prayed for larger tits. After
several days of this, during one praying session, there was this
sudden poof, and her fairy godmother appeared before her.
"Well, dearie, you want larger tits, do you?"
"Oh yes, oh yes, please fairy godmother, give me bigger tits. I
beg you," the woman implored.
"Okay, okay, calm down. I'll do it, if you promise to stop
bothering me. more...

Q: What's the difference between cricketers and condoms?
A: Cricketers drop the catches and condoms catches the drops.
Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman?
A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass.
Q: What makes a happy man?
A: Daughter is on the cover of Vogue, son on the cover of Sports llustrated, mistress on the cover of Playboy and wife on the cover of Missing persons.
Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both dissappear at night.
Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.
Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward... forward... backward... forward... backward.... forward... stop and eject.
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes more...

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready. . . Aim. . . "Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready. . . Aim. . . "The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready. . . Aim. . . "The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready... Aim..."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready... Aim..."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready... Aim..."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready... Aim..."Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready... Aim..."The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready... Aim..."The blonde shouts, "fire!!"