Firearm Jokes

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.From the Echoes-Sentines [? ], Somerset County, NJ, Sept. 17, 1987:GILLETTE RESIDENT IS ARRESTED AFTER SHOOTING HIS COMPUTERPASSAIC TWP. - A Gillette man was arrested at his home last Thursday night after he fired eight bullets at his home computer, according to police.The man, Michael A. Case, 35, of 64 Summit Ave., was arrested shortly after 11 p.m., at his house, when police said they received a report that shots were fired. They arrived at the home to find a .44 Magnum automatic handgun and a shot-up IBM personal computer with a Princeton Graphics System monitor.The monitor screen was blown out by the blasts and its inner workings were visible, Lt. Donald Van Tassel said on Monday. The computer, which had bullet holes in its hardware, was hit four times while four more bullet holes were found in various areas next to the computer, Van Tassel more...

When operating a firearm, safety is paramount. Here are some tips to reduce the risk of mishaps:
Instill in your children a healthy fear of guns by drunkenly waving one in their faces whenever you've had a few too many.
If you shoot yourself in the foot, immediately contact a therapist to help you confront your fear of success.
Dismantle your gun and melt it into a plowshare.
Have spouse and children wear blaze orange and shout, "Family coming through!" when moving from room to room in your home.
Unload gun each night by firing into ceiling, counting each bullet in screamed German.
Store your gun at least four feet from your liquor cabinet.
Never let your child play with a gun that is loaded.
Stress to your children that guns are only for shooting bad people. Make sure they know the difference between good and bad people by having them name examples of each from their daily lives.
Boil your bullets to prevent transmitting germs to people more...