Fellow Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Bill:
As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament. Although when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to admit that had I served another term, my lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God bless you in this time of trial.
- Jimmy Carter
Dear Bill:
OK, so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a babe!
- Gary Hart
My Dear Chap:
This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit that you made an ass of yourself and all will be forgiven.
- Hugh Grant
Bill:
They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you! Bitch done set us up!
- Mayor Marion Berry
Dear Bill:
Look at the bright side. At least you weren't caught wearing Monica's thong underwear. By the way, did you catch my sports show? I'm back on TV for more...

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his cola, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.

One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on.

The other man came along behind and filled in the hole.

While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road.

"I can't stand this," said the man, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.

"Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"

"Well, we work for the county," one of the men said.

"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you more...

Three young college students are on vacation in Washington, DC. One
day they are walking together past the White House when they hear the
voice of a man crying out, "Help, Help." Quickly, they respond to the
call by leaping over the White House fence, and by following the
cries, they eventually come upon Bill Clinton, drowning in the White
House swimming pool. In an heroic rush, they pull him from the pool,
then give him artificial respiration, clearly saving his life.
After a few minutes, Clinton says to them, "Well, boys, today you
saved my life! And I am willing to give each of you any wish you
desire, as long as it is within my power as President!"

The first fellow thinks for a few seconds then says, "I have
always wanted to go to West Point. Can you get me an
appointment?"

"You bet!" said the President, "I'll sign the papers more...

To my fellow New Yorkers and Yankee fans, please accept my deepest apologies. The events of this past Wednesday are my fault.
It seems that after a few tequilas and an ill-advised viewing of "License to Drive," I asked God to please kill Corey Feldman.
I don't know what to say...except that I am done with T-Mobile.

One day, a fellow went for a ride through the park on his bicycle. The following day, a friend asked him if he would like to do it again. He replied, "No thanks, I'm not into recycling."

A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes.
The second guy says, "Say, we're about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?"
The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn't like to bet, but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as they're walking off of the eighteenth hole, and while counting his $80.00, he confesses that he's the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers.
The first fellow reveals that he's the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back his money.
The Priest says, "No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your more...

This fellow goes into a barber shop for a shave and a haircut. While the barber is cutting his hair, he nicks the fellow's ear. He apologizes and wipes off the blood.

During the shave, he nicks the fellow several times. Finally he says, "Would you like your head wrapped in a hot towel?"

The fellow says, "No thanks, I'll just carry it home under my arm."