Fallen Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery.During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen."From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen."This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!"The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest.But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said -"I don't know why you're laughing; your wife more...

    A lovely woman decided to visit a penthouse restaurant. So she rode the elevator to the top floor of the building. She had a drink at the bar and then decided to get some fresh air, so she walked out on the balcony. She got too close to the railing and fell over the side.
    As she was falling about thirteen floors, a man was standing on the balcony below. He reached out his arms and engulfed her, pulling her to his chest. He asked, "Do you f***?" She answered, of course not. I'm not a slut!" The man opened his arms and said, "Sorry."
    As she had fallen another thirteen floors, another man was standing on a balcony, and he reached out, grabbed her in his arms, pulled her to his chest and asked, "Do you suck?" She answered, "Of course not. what kind of a girl do you think I am?" The man opened his arms, and said, "Sorry."
    As she had fallen another thirteen floors, another man was standing on a balcony. He reached out, more...

    There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish confessing to adultery.
    One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"
    Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had 'fallen.'
    This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe old age.
    A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
    "Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen."
    The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, "I don't know what you're laughing about, because your wife has fallen three times this more...

    In a certain church, the priest found out that the members made frequent confessions of having sex or committing adultery so much that he openly decided on a coded line to be used by the members to make this confession.The line was "I have fallen". Pretty soon, a new priest was brought to the church.
    This man of God knew nothing about the code.At a general meeting of Presbyters, he told the elders of many members complaining of falling when they came for confessions and asked if the pavements and floors could be redone to arrest the situation.At this, one of the prominent elders burped into an uncontrollable round of laughter.The priest thinking this man was not taking the matter seriously, looked sternly at the man and remarked,"Well Mr Arthur, if you dont care about others falling, today is a Wednesday and to tell you the truth, your wife has fallen thrice since Monday, which means she falls at least once a day.Who knows, it may increase to ten times if situation more...

    Beer Troubleshooting ***
    SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
    SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder control. ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
    SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
    SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself lashed to bar.
    SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above.
    SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
    SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
    SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. more...

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