Expands Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "How dare you ask such a question?" she says. "I`m going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!" Mrs. Sampson is shocked by Mary`s reaction, but undaunted. She asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand. Yes, Sam?" says Mrs. Sampson. "Ma`am, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye." "Very good, Sam. Thank you." Mrs. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: first, it`s clear that you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a DIRTY more...

This is the story of a different kind. No melting CPU's, no screaming
disc drives, just the kind of psychological torture that scars a man
for life.
I had a 9:00 meeting with my sales rep. I needed to buy an entire new
series 70, the works. He said it'd take about an hour. Three hours
later, we'd barely got the datacomm hardware down on paper, so he
invited me downstairs for lunch.
This was my first experience in an HP cafeteria. Above the service
counter was a menu which began...
MMU's (Main Menu Units)
0001A Burger. Includes sesame-seed bun.
Must order condiments 00110A separately
001Deletes seeds.
002 Expands burger to two patties.
00020A Double cheeseburger, preconfigured. Includes cheese,
bun and condiments.
001 Add-on bacon.
002 Delete second patty.
003 Replaces second patty with extra cheese.
00021A Burger Upgrade to Double Cheeseburger
001 From Single Burger.
002 From Double Burger.
003 more...

Sixth grade science teacher Mr. Sampson asks his class, "Who can tell me which
organ of the human body expands to ten times its usual size when stimulated?"
Nobody raises a hand, so he calls on the first student to look his way. "Mary,
can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to ten times its usual
size when stimulated?"
Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "Sir, how dare you ask such a question?" she
says. "I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal,
who will have you fired!"
Mr. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. He asks the class the
question again, and this time Sam raises his hand. "Yes, Sam?" says Mr. Sampson.
"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye."
"Very good, Sam. Thank you."
Mr. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have three things to tell you:
First, it's clear that more...

Parkinson's Laws: First Law - Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. Second Law - Expenditures rise to meet income. Fourth Law - The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done. Law of Committees - The amount of time spent by a committee on an agenda item is inversely proportional to the cost of the item. Fifth Law - If there is a way to delay in important decision, the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it. Sixth Law - Action expands to fill the void created by human failure.