Ex-wife Jokes / Recent Jokes

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag him?"The host said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.""What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter."My ex-wife" replied the hunter.

A young man met his ex-wife at a party and after a few drinks, he suggested that they have another try at marriage.
"Over my dead body," she sneered.
He downed his drink, and replied, "I see you haven't changed a bit."

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag him?" The host said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife." "What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter." My ex-wife" replied the hunter.

Divorce is bachelorhood, with strings attached... Tis better to have loved and lost.... than have to live with the bitch the rest of my life. What do you call a woman without an asshole? Divorced. My ex-wife is like a good laxative... she irritates the shit out of you. Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. Divorce is having your genitals torn off through your wallet. - Robin WilliamsLove is grand. Divorce is at least 20 grand. When I got divorced, my wife and I split the house. I got the outside and she got the inside. Of all the new weight loss programs and exercise videos available, divorce is still the most effective. Where else can you get rid of 205 pounds in a quick 90 days. Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage. - Ambrose PierceWhen does a woman stop masturbating? After the divorce is finalized. Says Jim after the divorce was finally settled - "Eh, I didn't care for some of her habits... I mean, she was a slob! Every time I went to more...

A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself. "Sorry, he doesn't live here anymore, we're divorced!"

Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results. He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling.

"Look, Bozo! We're divorced! Finito! End of story! When are you going to get that through your fat head?"

"Oh, I know! I just can't hear it enough!"

A lawyer is talking to his client. He says, “I have some good news, and I have some bad news. ”
The client says, “I could use some good news. What is it? ”
“You ex-wife is not making you pay on future inheritance. The bad news is that she is marrying your father. ”

Divorce is bachelorhood, with strings attached...Tis better to have loved and lost....than have to live with the bitch the rest of my life.What do you call a woman without an asshole? Divorced.My ex-wife is like a good laxative...she irritates the shit out of you.Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.Divorce is having your genitals torn off through your wallet. - Robin WilliamsLove is grand. Divorce is at least 20 grand.When I got divorced, my wife and I split the house. I got the outside and she got the inside.Of all the new weight loss programs and exercise videos available, divorce is still the most effective. Where else can you get rid of 205 pounds in a quick 90 days.Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage. - Ambrose PierceWhen does a woman stop masturbating? After the divorce is finalized.Says Jim after the divorce was finally settled - "Eh, I didn't care for some of her habits...I mean, she was a slob! Every time I went to take a piss, more...