European Jokes / Recent Jokes

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to more...

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult -- for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased program of changes to iron out these anomalies.

The program would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.

In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using' s' instead of the soft' c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy.

Then the hard' c' more...

A Hindu gets on a plane and sits next to a European.
As the plane takes off, he unrolls a wrapper containing Hindu vegetarian food which smells so much that the European's nose twitches.
He turns to the man and says, "Food India" with a grin.
He then takes out a container containing the foulest smelling liquid and again the man at the side has a twitching nose.
He grins sheepishly at the man and says, "Sorry. Drink India"
He then proceeds with his meal.
As soon as he has finished he farts. It is a loud, long fart.
He grins sheeepishly and says, "Air India"

Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult - for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using' s' instead of the soft' c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard' c' could be replaced by' k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, more...

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of Europe, rather than German, which was the other possibilty. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty`s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish":
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with " f ". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will more...

As we, the technologist are trying real hard to get the product out in smaller and more cost effective form, as what we are doing today. Lets take a look at how the artists do their part in the language...
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Having chosen English as the preferred language, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving the efficiency in communications between Government departments. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult - for example, cough plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased program of changes to iron out these anomalies. The program would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committe would suggect using ‘s’ instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sites would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard more...

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated more...