Estrogen Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    If you're easily offended (I mean VERY easily), don't read this.
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    WOMEN SPEAK IN ESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE... By Matt Groening (Creator of The Simpsons and Life in Hell)
    Deep Thoughts about Gender Differences
    SEX: Women prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.
    MATURITY: Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults. Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.
    MAGAZINES: Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women.
    Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter more...

    In a recent study, scientists say women with higher estrogen levels aremore likely to dress provocatively and cheat on their mates. Scientistsalso admit they slipped the estrogen into the women's drinks.

    I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun... any questions?

    WOMEN SPEAK IN ESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE by Matt Groening RELATIONSHIPS: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life. A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3: 00 a. m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know that there's always a chance for us." This is known as the "I Hate You / I Love You" drunken phone call, and 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need. SEX: Women prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay. MATURITY: Women mature much faster than men. Most more...

    10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

    1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem

    2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

    3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

    4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

    5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1-800-***-."

    6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.

    7. You're convinced there's a God and he's a gay male.

    8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.

    9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

    10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

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