Einstein Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister.
    As one of them left, he shook the minister's hand, thanked him for the sermon and said, "Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, you must be smarter than Einstein."
    Beaming with pride, the minister said, "Why, thank you, brother!"
    As the week went by, the minister began to think about the man's compliment. The more he thought, the more he became baffled as to why anyone would deem him smarter than Einstein. So he decided to ask the man the following Sunday.
    The next Sunday he asked the parishioner if he remembered the previous Sunday's comment about the sermon.
    The parishioner replied that he did.
    The minister asked, "Exactly what did you mean that I must be smarter than Einstein?"
    The man replied, "Well, Reverend, they say that Einstein was so smart that only ten people in the entire world could understand him. But more...

    New letters suggest that Albert Einstein had a Russian spy mistress, and many extramarital affairs. The letters are HE = MC2Timer.

    Albert Einstein was getting bored with making the same speech over and over again at different meetings.
    So one night, after a long day, his chauffeur jokingly said
    "I've heard your speech so many times, I know it word for word! Why don't you take the night off and let me deliver the talk this evening?"
    Einstein agreed.
    When they arrived at the venue, Einstein put on the chauffers uniform and hat, and sat at the back of the hall.
    The chauffeur took his place on the podium, and effortlessly delivered the speech, and invited the audience to ask questions.
    He convincingly answered the first few, but then one pompous man stood up and asked a very difficult question on his theories of relativity.
    The chauffeur was flummoxed, but calmly said
    "Why, that question is so very easy, I will let my chauffeur answer it!"

    Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."

    Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can
    you prove who you really are?"
    Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
    Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.
    Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
    The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.
    Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
    Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."
    Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.
    Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim more...

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