Eight Jokes / Recent Jokes

A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead.

"Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?" asks the doctor.

"Oh, no," replies the nurse, "I gave him eight tablets every two hours!"

At the next bed the next patient also appears half dead.

"Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every twelve hours?"

"Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour," replies the nurse.

Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well and truly deceased, not an ounce of life. "Nurse," asks the doctor, "did you prick his boil?"

"OH MY GOODNESS!" replies the nurse.

I first saw "The Empire Strikes Back" as a child and thought, "Yoda is eight hundred years old...what a Jedi!" Now that I am an adult, I can't help thinking, "Eight hundred years...his 401K must be incredible."

Eight men have been at a mental hospital for a period of time and are being tested to find out how they are progressing in order for them to leave the institution. The doctor in charge takes them all into a room and with a ball pen draws a door on the wall and asks each one of them to try and open the door for him as part of the tests. Seven of them rushed out and attempted to open the door on the wall. The doctor was disappointed with the results but never the less call on the last one who was still sitting down and asked him why didn`t he stand up and try to open the door with the others. The eighth man replied: "because I was holding the key to the door"

Needing some clothes cleaned in a hurry, a man searched this small
Georgia town in which he was visiting until he found a sign which
read: "Cleaning and Pressing, 24-Hour Service."
After explaining his needs, he said, "I'll be back for
my suit tomorrow."
"Won't be ready til Saturday," replied the proprietor.
"But I thought you had 24-hour service," the customer protested.
"We do, son," the proprietor said reproachfully. "But we only
work eight hours a day. Today's Thursday - eight hours today,
eight hours Friday, eight on Saturday. That's 24-hour service."

Needing some clothes cleaned quickly, a man searched the small town he was visiting until he found a sign which read: Cleaning and Pressing - 24-Hour Service.
After explaining what he needed, he said, "I'll be back tomorrow to pick up my suit."
"Oh, but it won't be ready until Saturday," replied the proprietor.
"But your sign states '24-Hour Service'," the man protested.
"Yes, that's correct," the proprietor said reproachfully, "but, we only work eight hours a day. Today is Thursday - eight hours today, eight hours Friday, eight on Saturday. That's 24-hour service."

Teacher-Raju How Will You Distribute Five Oranges Equally To Eight People?
Raju-Simple I Will First Take Out The Juice Pour It In Eight Glasses And Give Them

WHEN SIX MET EIGHT IN A BAR ONE DAY THEY WERE TALKING AND SIX ASKED EIGHT DO YOU LIKE SEVEN NO EIGHT REPLIED WHY ASKED SIX BECAUSE SEVEN EIGHT NINE EIGHT REPLIED.