Edgar Jokes

On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of' Mate Match'?"

Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,Florida if you win. What is more...

Just keep in mind this was on live radio....
On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL they call someone at work and ask if they are married or in a serious relationship.
If yes, then this person is asked 3 very personal questions (that vary from couple to couple) and asked for their significant other's name and work phone number. If the significant other answers correctly, then they are winners.
This particular day (12-9-98) it got interesting:
DJ: HEY! This is Edgar on WBAM. Do you know "Mate Match"?
Contestant: (laughing) Yes I do.
DJ: What is your name? First name only please.
Contestant: Brian.
DJ: Are you married or what Brian?
Brian: Yes.
DJ: "Yes"? Does this mean your are "married"? or what?, Brian?
Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes I am married.
DJ: Thank you, Brian. OK, now, what is your wife's name? First only please,
Brian.
Brian: Sara.
DJ: Is Sara at work Brian?
Brian: She is more...

Edgar decided that an appropriate Christmas gift for his wife would be a bottle of perfume.. Nothing too expensive or overstated mind, just something simple and discrete.
So he went to a local store and located the cosmetics department.
"I would like to buy some perfume for my wife." he told the shop assistant.
"Certainly sir." she replied. "Do you have anything particular in mind?"
"Not really." he said "but nothing very expensive."
"I understand sir. Well, what about this one?"
"How much does it cost?"
"This one is sixty pounds sir
"That's too expensive for me." he replied immediately.
"Very well sir. How about this?"
"What's the price? he asked.
"Forty pounds sir."
"What else have you got?" he enquired.
"Well, there's this small bottle at twenty pounds."
"Look here." he more...

Seventy-two-year-old Edgar recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, the doctor said Edgar was doing "fairly well" for his age. A little concerned about that comment, Edgar couldn't resist asking the doctor, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" The doctor asked, "Well, do you smoke or drink beer?" "Oh no," Edgar replied, "I've never done either." Then the doctor asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and bar-b-qued ribs?" Edgar said, "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthful!" "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?" the doctor asked. "No, I don't," Edgar replied. Then the doctor asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or run around with women?" "No," Edgar said, "I don't do any of those things." The good doctor looked at Edgar and said, "Then why the heck do you want to live to be 80?"

Seventy-two-year-old Edgar recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, the doctor said Edgar was doing "fairly well" for his age. A little concerned about that comment, Edgar couldnt resist asking the doctor, "Do you think Ill live to be 80?"The doctor asked, "Well, do you smoke or drink beer?""Oh no," Edgar replied, "Ive never done either."Then the doctor asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and bar-b-qued ribs?"Edgar said, "No, Ive heard that all red meat is very unhealthful!""Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?" the doctor asked."No, I dont," Edgar replied. Then the doctor asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or run around with women?""No," Edgar said, "I dont do any of those things."The good doctor looked at Edgar and said, "Then why the heck do you want to live to be 80?"