Dungeon Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, if I ever happen to become an Evil Overlord...

    1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

    2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

    3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

    4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

    5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of more...

    Many people have noticed that Tolkien's novel "The Lord of the
    Rings" bears an uncanny resemblance to the game of Dungeons and
    Dragons, in that it contains elves, dwarves, orcs and so forth.
    Clearly Tolkien was much influenced by D&D, and a recently
    unearthed recording, probably made by MI5, shows him playing
    Dungeons and Dragons on the floor of his rooms in Merton College,
    Oxford, one evening, with C.S. Lewis, Charles Williams, and
    various other luminaries.
    Here is part of the transcript of the recording, which all will
    agree is of great historical interest.
    C.S. Lewis: Well, Tom, it's really good of you to come along and
    act as Dungeon Master for the evening. Haven't enjoyed myself so
    much since I played in G.K. Chesterton's dungeon and slew Father
    T.S. Eliot (for it is he): Thanks. Anyway, is Father Aslan going
    to go and explore the Waste Land further yet, or will he have
    another drink?
    Lewis: That more...

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