Drinking Jokes / Recent Jokes
scientists have successfully crossed a rooster and a onion !!
the result is a BIG COCK that makes ur eyes water
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?""A mongoose.""What for?""Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection." "But," the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes." "That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."
(Outdated, but still fun.)
DOS Beer
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz.
can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8
compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be
discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's
no longer available.
Mac Beer
At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered
by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one
from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you
call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A
notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
Windows 3.1 Beer
The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a more...
whats the sadest thing in the world?
two boldy men fighting over a comb.
A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman.
After awhile, the woman starts to smell this horrible odour coming from the direction of the drunk.
She turns to him and says, "Excuse me Mister, but did you just shit yourself?"
The drunk replied, "Yes ma'am, I have indeed shit myself."
The woman says, "Well, why don't you go somewhere and clean yourself up?"
The drunk says, "'Cos I'm not finished yet..."
Your mothers butt is so harry icomes and says, "don king in the house"