Dreamed Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams.

"I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream."

"I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life."

His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two women, and you didn't call me?"

"Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said you'd gone fishing."

A prominent lawyer's son dreamed of following in his father's footsteps. After graduating from college and law school with honors, he returned home to join his father's firm, intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney. At the end of his first day Work jokes he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, father! The Smith case, that you always said would go on forever -- the one you have been toiling on for ten years -- in one single day, I settled that case and saved the client a fortune!"His father frowned, and scolded his son, "I did not say that it would go on forever, son. I said that it could go on forever. When you saw me toiling on that case for days and weeks at a time, didn't it ever occur to you that I was billing by the hour?"

A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car.
"The other night I dreamed I was a Ferrari. Another night I dreamed I was a BMW. Last night I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"
"Relax," says the doctor; "you're just having an auto-body experience."

A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night, I dreamed I was a Trans Am. Another night, I dreamed I was an Alpha Romeo. Last nigh,t I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?""Relax," says the shrink, "You're just having an auto-body experience."

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"