Dragon Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1 to complain that the lightbulb isn't working, 5 to hold a meeting to decide what to do about it, 20 to form an expedition to the fabled Lightbulb Mines of Mythrill, 30 to throw a going-away party, 1 to ask Gandalf for directions, 1 to sell into slavery when the directions aren't stuck to, and they end up in entirely the wrong part of the country, and ready cash runs low, 5 get lost through natural wastage (bandits, murderers, monsters, etc,) 1 to be thrown to the Dragon that guards the Lightbulb hoarde, 1 to be thrown to the dragon to cover the retreat, 2 to carry the box of lightbulbs, 5 to find a large, sword-wielding barbarian to escort them home with the lightbulbs, another 30 to throw a safe-return party, 5 to get rid of the barbarian, who in typical style, got drunk at the party, 5 to find an Elf in the neighbourhood tall enough to change the lightbulb, one elf, and 5 to compose ballads of derring-do, heroism, more...
May the dragon of life only roast your hot-dogs and never burn your buns.
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Dragon!
Dragon who?
Dragon your feet again!
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
Q: What's the difference between the dinosaur and a dragon...? A: Dinosaurs are too young to SMOKE!
WARNING: if your answer "yes" to any of these questions then you know that you are weird and you believe too much in dragons.
Ocasionally when you see a bird do you find yourself saying "O merlin hand me my mighty sword so I can slay this foul dragon"?
Do you find yourself trying to rob a bank with a bow and arrow?
Do you have any "magic staffs" lying around?
Do you search for dragon eggs for at least 1 hour every day?
Do you refer to your car as your "trusty steed"?
Do your think your phone is a magical scrying device?
When you call the cops, do you call them the saviors?
Have you ever seen yourself writing in an ancient language(A.K.A. gibberish.)?
When you kill something or when your refering to something dead do you call it "slain"?
Whenever someone turns off the light do you scream "ahh magic, run and fear from the evil witch!"?
Far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts, but Nick the Dragon slayer knew the penalty for this desire would be death should he try and touch them.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy
his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed.
Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon more...