Dozen Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jane calls the doctor in a panic. "Doctor, doctor! My little Jimmy swallowed a dozen aspirin. What should I do?"
The doctor asked Jane, "Are you sure it was a dozen?"
The frantic mother says, "Absolutely! Doctor, I'm scared to death!"
The doctor tells the mother, "Calm down. Is little Jimmy crying?"
Jane says "No."
"Is he sleeping?" asks the doctor.
"No." says Jimmy's mom.
The doctor goes on with routine questions, "Is his color funny?"
Again Jane says "No."
"Did Jimmy throw up?" asks the methodical doctor.
"No." says the worried mom. "But I'm so scared. All that aspirin... shouldn't I do something?"
To which the doctor says, "Try giving him a headache."

There is this good ol' barber in some city in US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" card and a dozen roses waiting at his doorstep. A cop goes for a haircut next and when he goes to pay the barber, the latter replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" card and a dozen donuts waiting at his doorstep. An Indian software engineer goes for a haircut after that and while paying, the barber tells him, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The next morning, when more...

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God? work. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.
A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, “you protect the public. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.
A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “you serve the justice system. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

A recently deposed Eastern potentate (who shall remain unnamed) was known for his prowess in the harem-often entertaining no less than a dozen wives per night. Shorn of his crown and possessions, he was seeking employment and was overjoyed when an American theatrical agent signed him up to perform these same feats at certain choice and private showings. The contract was signed, bookings were scheduled and twelve delectable beauties hired for the premiere. The box-office was sold out. The audience waited eagerly, for they had paid ten dollars per ticket to see the fabulous potentate. A symphony orchestra struck up an overture, the lights dimmed, the curtains parted and the dozen lovelies were revealed, reclining on couches. The potentate stepped briskly out from the wings, bowed to the audience, then proceeded. Naturally, after such a build-up, the audience was disappointed when the great man fell flat on his face after taking pleasure with only four of the beauties. They howled for more...

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God’s work. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.
A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, “you protect the public. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.
A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “you serve the justice system. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in his left eyelid since
young. Fred has a splitting headache and asks Joe to go get some
aspirins. Half an hour later Joe comes back with a dozen packets
of condoms.
"I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms."
"Yeah, I went to a dozen drug stores, but have you ever tried asking
for aspirin with a tic in your eye?"

There was this good samaritan barber in a city in the US. One day a florist went to him for a haircut. After the haircut when he wanted to pay, the barber replied,' Thank you, but I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The florist was pleasantly surprised and went back happy. The next morning when the barber opened the shop, there was a thank you card with a dozen roses waiting at his door.
Next day, a cop went for a haircut and he also got the same reply from the barber,' I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The cop was happy and left the shop. When the barber reached his shop the next morning, there was a thank you note and a dozen cookies waiting for him.
An Indian software engineer went for a haircut and when he wanted to pay the barber, he too got the same reply,' I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The next morning when the barber went to open his more...