Downs Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five pints. The barman gives him an odd
look since the man's all by himself, but he serves up the five pints and lines them up on the bar.
The man downs them.... One, Two, Three, Four, Five. He finishes the last one and calls to the barman,
"Four pints, please, mate!"
The barman serves up four pints and lines them on the bar. The man downs them.... One, Two, Three,
Four. Then he belches loudly, sways slightly on the stool, and orders three more pints. And one after
the other, he knocks them back.... One, Two, Three.
"Two pintsh, mate!" he calls, and the barman places two pints in front of him. Down they go.... One,
Two.
As the man slams the last one down on the bar, he says, "One pint, mate." So the barman fills the
glass.
The man sits there, staring at it for a moment, trying to focus.
Then he looks at the barman and says, "Y'know, more...

A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack".
The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another".
The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".
As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"
The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."
The bartender says "Geez, what did you say."
The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"

A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender, give me a triple shot of Jack!".
The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar, and says, "Another".
The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says, "Another".
As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"
The man says, "Ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."
The bartender says "Geez, what did you say?."
The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"

A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another".
The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".
As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"
The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."
The bartender says "Geez, what did you say."
The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"

A woman walks into a bar already wasted. She goes up to the bar and says,"
Beer tender, get me a bubble martuni with a little pickle in it."
So, the bar tender gives the women her drink. She downs it, and again she says,"
Beer tender, get me another bubble martuni with two little pickles in it."
Bar tender gives it to her and the woman downs it. Then she says, "
Beer tender give me a little peptobismal I have a little heartburn."
Bar tender says,"
First of all its not Beer tender, its bar tender, its not a bubble, its a double, its not a martuni, its a martini, its not a pickle its an olive and you dont have heartburn your left tits in the ashtray!"

Married life has many Ups and Downs... May most of yours be between the sheets!

Life has its Ups n Downs.
Sometimes the sun shines,

sometimes the rain lashes,

but then it takes both the Sun n Rain to make a Rainbow.

Have a Great Day