Downhill Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear about the new downhill racing skis the ski resorts areselling this year? They are called Lewin-skis. They are for people who like to go down.

So the Jamaicans did it with "Cool Runnings"... not to be outdone, the Israelis had the best downhill slalom skier in the world.
They went up to the Winter Olympics with high hopes of the Gold Medal. Through the practices they watched the Austrians, the Swiss, the Germans, the Italians and the Swedish ski down the hill and through the gates.
But the Israeli KNEW that he had it in the bag. He had easily beaten every one of those other guys times!
Come the day of the competition, the Israeli is drawn to ski last. They watched the Austrian - 35.7 seconds. Then the Italian, 35.2... and so on, until it came to the Israeli entry.
The coach waited anxiously at the bottom... 6 and a half MINUTES later, the Israeli crossed the line!
The coach was furious. "What the h*ll happened to you?!" he screeched.
"It wasn't my fault!" yelled back the skier. "Some b*st*rd nailed a mezzuzah to every gate!"

Snowboarding Lessons When you're 47 years old, you sometimes hear a small voice inside you that says: "Just because you've reached middle age, that doesn't mean you shouldn't take on new challenges and seek new adventures. You get only one ride on this crazy carousel we call life, and by golly you should make the most of it." This is the voice of Satan. I know this because recently, on a mountain in Idaho, I listened to this voice, and as a result my body feels as though it has been used as a trampoline by the Budweiser Clydesdales. I am currently on an all-painkiller diet. "I'll have a black coffee and 250 Advil tablets" is a typical breakfast order for me these days. This is because I went snowboarding. For those of you who, for whatever reason, such as a will to live, do not participate in downhill winter sports, I should explain that snowboarding is an activity that is popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough. These are of course more...

When you're 47 years old, you sometimes hear a small voice inside you that says: "Just because you've reached middle age, that doesn't mean you shouldn't take on new challenges and seek new adventures. You get only one ride on this crazy carousel we call life, and by golly you should make the most of it."This is the voice of Satan.I know this because recently, on a mountain in Idaho, I listened to this voice, and as a result my body feels as though it has been used as a trampoline by the Budweiser Clydesdales.I am currently on an all-painkiller diet. "I'll have a black coffee and 250 Advil tablets" is a typical breakfast order for me these days.This is because I went snowboarding.For those of you who, for whatever reason, such as a will to live, do not participate in downhill winter sports, I should explain that snowboarding is an activity that is popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.These are of course young people, fearless more...

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Flip Over Read Directions
Four Old Rusted Doors
Fixed On Race Day
Ford Owner Really Dumb
For Only Retarded Drivers
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