Divorce Jokes / Recent Jokes

Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night when Fred announces that he's going to divorce his wife.
"Good grief," says Jim, "you and Sue are the happiest couple I know! Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely woman after all these years of obvious bliss?"
"Well," replies Fred, "truth be known, I'm just bored with screwing the same hole night after night after night. I guess I'm hankerin' for a bit of variety."
Jim replied, "Well, if you want variety, why don't you just, you know, turn her over every now and again?"
Fred says, "What? And have a house full of kids?"

Reuters is reporting a story about a Chinese housewife who's seeking a divorce from her husband because she believes he had an affair.

The woman said she discovered the affair when their pet mynah bird starting saying things like, "Divorce," "I love you," and "Be patient."

The bird apparently picked up the words by overhearing the husband's telephone calls with his mistress.

A man in Tarritville, Connecticut, filed for divorce because his wife left him a note on the refrigerator that read: "I have gone to the bridge club. There'll be a recipe for your dinner at 7 o'clock on Channel 2.
A man in Hazard, Kentucky, divorced his wife because she "beat him whenever he removed onions from his hamburger without asking for permission."
A deaf man in Bennettsville, South Carolina, filed for divorce because his wife "was always nagging him in sign language."
A woman in Canon City, Colorado, divorced her husband because he forced her to "duck under the dashboard whenever they drove past his ex girlfriend's house."
A woman in Hardwick, Georgia, divorced her husband on the grounds that he "stayed home too much and was much too affectionate."

Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter "O." "Whyd you put that circle down?" asked the clerk. "Cause Ah cant write," replied the girl. "Why dont you sign with an X?" asked the man. "Ah used to," she answered. "But when Ah got me a divorce, Ah took back mah maiden name!"

Two men are talking. The first sez, "I got married because I was tiredof eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearingshabby clothes.""Amazing," said the second, "I just got divorced for the very samereasons."

A distressed husband to his wife, Dear, why you are prefer divorce from you, I have'nt did any thing to you...

Yes I want divorce from you for the very same reason my dear, the wife replied.

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
fool at the other.

2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage: It`s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of
either".

6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water-power...

9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference more...