Dieter Jokes / Recent Jokes
On the first day of the tenth month of the Islamic lunar calendar, Muslims celebrate the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting. This is one of two holidays celebrated throughout the Islamic world. Also known as Eid ul Fitr, Idu'l Fitar, Seker Bayram (Turkey), and Hari Raya Puasa (Southeast Asia). A DIETER'S CHRISTMAS
' Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.
While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps
had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.
When what to my wandering eyes should more...
Dieter Bohlen, Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt are perished with a motoring accident. Arrived in heaven, Petrus open them the door and say:"step in but there's one rule who you must observe: never trample on a duck or else there are disastrouses consequences for you."
When then they stepped in, all the floor was full with ducks. They tried hard that it don't happen this. But the first who happened this was Brad Pitt. Petrus brang him an ugly maid, chained them together and said:"You'll spend the rest of your life together and you never get unchained."
On the next day, Tom Cruise trampled on a duck. Petrus brang him even a much uglier maid, chained them together and said:"You'll spend the rest of your life together and you never get unchained."
Dieter Bohlen didn't trample now on a duck more than a month. Petrus came to him with an unbelievable beautiful maid how Dieter did't she visualize in his wildest dreams. Then he meant to her:"What I more...
THE DIETER'S GUIDE TO WEIGHT LOSS DURING SEX
ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED
REMOVING CLOTHES: ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE:
With partner's consent... 12 Shoes flew off... 35
Without partner's consent.187 Expression didn't change....1/2
Orchestra swelled... 6
UNHOOKING BRA: Birds sang
Using two calm hands... 7 Large birds... 7
Using one trembling hand...36 Small birds... 3
Earth moved... 30
Lifting partner... 15 PULLING OUT:
Dragging partner on floor..16 After orgasm... 1/2
Using skateboard... 3 A few moments before orgasm.500
ACHIEVING ERECTIONS: PENIS ENVY:
For normal healthy man....2.5 For woman... 3
Losing erection... 14 For men... 72
Searching for it... 115
GUILT:
PUTTING ON CONDOM: Despite no formal training,
With erection... 1.5 orgasm comes easily... 53
Without erection... 300 You're enjoying sex, despite the
fact that other people are
INSERTING DIAPHRAGM: starving... more...