Demon Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Halloween joke
Why don’t apples smile when you go bobbing?
Because they’re crab apples!

A vampire joke
What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A blood hound!

A ghost joke
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!

A demon joke
What do you call a demon who slurps his food?
A goblin!

A ghost joke
What do you have to take to become a coroner?
A stiff exam!

A cannibal joke
What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs!

A cannibal joke
What did the cannibal say when he was full?
”I couldn’t eat another mortal! ”

One day, a man who had just turned 50 retired from his job. It was his birthday, and he was waiting for his surprise party from his wife when he got home. As he walked into his house, ther was no one there. He looked around and found a not laying on the counter. It read, "I've left you for George, we're through." The man was dumbfounded, and extremely pissed. "Who does she think she is? Leaving me for my best friend on my birthday?" He got mad and tore up the house. On his way out, he ripped up the neighbors yard as well. He got in his car and sped down the road, going 80. He stopped at a car dealership and looked around. "What the hell," he thought, "I'll get the speed demon I've always wanted." So he traded in his car and some extra cash for a speed demon. He was flying down the road, going 130 when he saw blue lights flashing. "I don't care anymore, screw him." So he ran from the cops. After a grueling chase, he was stopped. more...

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil.
The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity.
At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Pennsylvania.
The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity.
At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Pennsylvania.
At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind.
At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, more...

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia. The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia. At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing more...

A little demon came home from school one day and said to his mother,' I hate my sister's guts.'' All right,' said his mother,' I won't put them in your sandwiches again.'

A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this is really hell, and what was so bad about the place." Well," said the demon, "the kegs all have holes in the bottoms, and the blondes don't!"

A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised whenconfronted by a room full of beautiful blondes andkegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this isreally hell, and what was so bad about the place." Well," said the demon, "the kegs all have holes inthe bottoms, and the blondes don't!"