Deleted Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Latest Report on Windows98: New Error Codes AssignedWinerr 000 - Unexpected Intelligent User Detected; Please Reload Everything Winerr 001 - Intimidation Failed; Attempting to Crash Repeatedly Winerr 002 - Erroneous Error; No Error Occurred (Yet) Winerr 003 - RAM Depleted; Annex Japan (Y/N)? Winerr 004 - Deluxe Error. Please Send $75 to Upgrade Your Error Winerr 005 - Long File Name Error; Tape Erased to Make Room for Filename Winerr 006 - Insufficient RAM to Crash Properly; Attempting Fake Crash Winerr 007 - Alphanumeric Sequence "OS2" Prohibited Winerr 008 - This License Has Expired; Please Purchase Another Copy Winerr 009 - Error Buffer Overflow; Too Many Errors Winerr 00A - Non-Microsoft Application Encountered Winerr 00B - Push Error; Removing Files to Make Room for Advertisement Winerr 00C - Windows Loaded Correctly This Time Winerr 00D - User Error; Lemming Not Found Winerr 00E - Open Standard Encountered; Attempting to Redmondize Winerr 00F - Reserved for Future more...
The Latest Report on Windows98: New Error Codes Assigned
Winerr 000 - Unexpected Intelligent User Detected; Please Reload Everything Winerr 001 - Intimidation Failed; Attempting to Crash Repeatedly Winerr 002 - Erroneous Error; No Error Occurred (Yet) Winerr 003 - RAM Depleted; Annex Japan (Y/N)? Winerr 004 - Deluxe Error. Please Send $75 to Upgrade Your Error Winerr 005 - Long File Name Error; Tape Erased to Make Room for Filename Winerr 006 - Insufficient RAM to Crash Properly; Attempting Fake Crash Winerr 007 - Alphanumeric Sequence "OS2" Prohibited Winerr 008 - This License Has Expired; Please Purchase Another Copy Winerr 009 - Error Buffer Overflow; Too Many Errors Winerr 00A - Non-Microsoft Application Encountered Winerr 00B - Push Error; Removing Files to Make Room for Advertisement Winerr 00C - Windows Loaded Correctly This Time Winerr 00D - User Error; Lemming Not Found Winerr 00E - Open Standard Encountered; Attempting to Redmondize Winerr 00F - Reserved more...
Utah Woman Deletes the Internet!
By Tom 7 (Dissociated Press)
REDMOND: Millions of frustrated calls rushed into internet service providers this past thursday as "The Information Superhighway" was reported Missing In Action for several days.
The Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF) traced the problem to a home in Utah where Doris Packuko resides. She was allegedly found "hysterical and crying", police say.
"That much information flowing through the phone lines all at once generates a lot of heat," Doug Wernicke of the IETF told us, "We just followed the smell of burning fiber optics."
"Apparently, she just deleted The Internet right off her desktop. Even after being warned, `are you sure you want to delete The Internet?`, she persisted."
Experts claim that this is a major problem with The Information Superhighway, perhaps even worse than animal pornography. "The Internet is a great cooperative work, more...
Befuddled PC Users Flood Help Lines, and no Question Seems to be Too Basic From the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994. Reprinted without permission AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't gether new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp.technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked thewoman what happened when she pushed the power button. "I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," thewoman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the womansaid, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The "footpedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated devicethat helps to control the computer's operations.[boring stuff deleted] Only two years ago, most calls to PC help lines came from techiesneeding help on complex problems. But now, with computer sales to homesexploding as new "multimedia" functions more...
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well,
here's a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern
Methodist University:
In-class Assignment for Wednesday:
Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting
to his other immediate right. One of you will then write the first
paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph
and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will
then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to
re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story
coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been
reached. The following was actually turned in by two of my English
students, Rebecca [last name deleted] and Gary [last name deleted.] "
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind more...
The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."
Hi, this is the answering machine. I am on strike. Any messages you leave will be deleted.