Dare Jokes / Recent Jokes

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it's the '90's!, he'd beCat Doggy Dogg.If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy DoggPooh.How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him tomarry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.Nog (Quark's brother on more...

Once there was a preacher's wife who went into a bakery and asked the butcher waht the daily special was. He said it was the "damn ham." She immediatly started yelling at the top of her lungs." HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT I'M THE PREACHER'S WIFE!"The butcher was totally taken back by this while he wimpered, "Oh, no ma'am it's called the' damn ham.'" She bought one of the hams. Later that day when the preacher got home he smelled the ham cooking and asked his wife what it was. She replied that it was the "damn ham." He also immediatly started yelling at the top of his lungs." HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT I'M THE PREACHER!"She was also taken back by this and wimpered that it was the "damn ham." At dinner that night they were eating dinner with their kids and they, too, asked what this delicoius meal was. Their father (the preacher) said that it was the "damn ham." Their son was quite happy with this. In more...

Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was stirrin’,
Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.

When up on da roof
I heard somethin’ pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, “YO! Keep it down! ”

When what to my
Wanderin’ eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin’ reindeer!

Wit’ slicked back black hair,
And a silk red suit,
don Christopher wuz here,
And he brought da loot!

Wit’ a slap to dare snouts,
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And he called dem by name.

“Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido! ”

As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
He flew troo da winda
And slapped me ’side da head.

“What da hell you doin’
Pullin’ a gun on da Don?
Now all you’re gettin’ is more...

Bill Clinton, George Bush and Osama Bin Ladin were riding in an airplane. Bill Clinton said, "Hey, do you dare me to throw this acorn out of the window?", they said yes and he did. George Bush said, "Hey, do you dare me to throw this apple core out of the window?", they said yes, and he did. Osama Bin Ladin said, "Hey, do you dare me to throw this bomb out of the window?", they screamed "No!", but he did anyway. When the plane landed, Bill Clinton saw a little girl crying and he asked her what was wrong. She said, "An acron fell out of the sky and hit me on the head". Then, George Bush saw a little boy crying and asked him what was wrong. He said, " An apple core fell out of the sky and hit me on the head. Osama Bin Ladin saw a little boy laughing really hard and asked him what was he laughing at. The little boy replied, "I just farted and blew up the Washington Monument!".

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came a New Yorker. "I'm not hiring any wise-ass New Yorker," the foreman thought to himself, so he made up a test hoping that the New Yorker wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.
"Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9.
"Without numbiz?" the New Yorker says. "Dat's easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ain't you got no brains? Tree 'n tree n' tree makes nine."
"Fair enough," says the boss.
"Here is your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The New Yorker stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Dare ya go."
The boss scratches more...

Once there was a preacher's wife who went into a bakery and asked the butcher waht the daily special was. He said it was the "damn ham."
She immediatly started yelling at the top of her lungs.
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT I'M THE PREACHER'S WIFE!"
The butcher was totally taken back by this while he wimpered, "Oh, no ma'am it's called the 'damn ham.'" She bought one of the hams.
Later that day when the preacher got home he smelled the ham cooking and asked his wife what it was. She replied that it was the "damn ham." He also immediatly started yelling at the top of his lungs.
"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT I'M THE PREACHER!"
She was also taken back by this and wimpered that it was the "damn ham."
At dinner that night they were eating dinner with their kids and they, too, asked what this delicoius meal was. Their father (the preacher) said that it was the "damn ham."
Their more...

General Tikka Khan of Pakistan and his troops left behind a sizeable anthology of jokes in Bangladesh which are still recounted there. The pattern of those jokes is very much the same as those manufactured by the Jews under Hitlerite tyranny.
A farmer brought his prize rooster to sell in the market.' What do you feed that bird that he is so big?' asked a Pathan solider of the Pakistan army.'
'I feed it rice, sir,' replied the farmer.
'How dare you waste rice on the bird while we are short of food?' said the Pathan and seized the bird.
The next day the farmer brought another rooster to sell.' What do you feed that bird that he is so big?' demanded a Baluch soldier of the Pakistan army.
'Sir, I feed it with ghee,' replied the farmer.
'How dare your waste ghee on a bird while we are short of food!' swore the Baluchi as he seized the bird.
On the third day the poor farmer brought his last remaining rooster to the market. This time a Punjabi Mussalman more...