Cyber Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. Be thankful you haven't been spammed! 2. Be thankful your computer isn't down! 3. Be thankful your favorite forum isn't down! 4. Be thankful you don't have The Good Times virus! 5. Be thankful your server isn't down! 6. Be thankful for a vast selection of Web sites to browse! 7. Be thankful no one knows who you really are! 8. Be thankful someone sent you a cyber sundae, and you didn't gain a pound! 9. Be thankful your 28 year old cyberfriend really isn't 72! 10. Be thankful for a fast Internet connnection! 11. Be thankful no one sent you a cyber voo-doo doll!
Top Ten Signs Your Spouse Is Having A Cyber Affair... Lately, she sits at the computer naked. After signing off, he always has a cigarette. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up. He's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand. Every day, Bill Gates sends 10 million dollars worth of flowers. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear. During sex she screams "A COLON BACKSLASH ENTER INSERT!!!!" The fax file is filled with pictures of some guy's ass. Lipstick on the mouse.
A boy was playing internet games on Yahoo. Finding it hilarious, he had named himself "emilycheesehotchick". One time, while playing pool, his opponent messaged to him "Want to have cyber sex...?" Curiousity took over him, and so he replied "Sure!".
Thus followed a hot and mostly one-sided cyber sex, when all of a sudden, his mother came into the room.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" asked his mother.
"I...I....I'm having cybersex with someone on Yahoo..." he replied.
The mother paused...and then asked,
"Are you emilycheesehotchick...?"
Online computer users often engage in cyber sex. However, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-
36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm more...
Online computer users often engage in cyber sex. However, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-
36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm more...
Online computer users often engage in cyber sex. However, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OKSweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. more...
CYBER BREAK UP LETTER
Dear [insert screen name here] (if that is your real name),
I regret to inform you that, under a plan for the periodic removal of unpleasantness from my life, I must terminate our online affair. This termination takes effect immediately, but only because I could not make it retroactive. Below, you will find the reasons for this action:
_____ While our cybersex sessions were, for the most part, competent, your constant use of "brb gotta pee" took some of the romance out of it.
_____ Your use of the term "the ol' cyber ball and chain" to refer to me has hurt my feelings.
_____ I've found another lover, one who knows the importance of punctuation.
_____ Certain errors during cyber sessions indicate that you were less than honest:
· __ You typed: "I remove my bra" when you claimed to be a man.
· __ You typed: "I enter you" when you claimed to be a woman.
· __ You typed your own name at the more...