Custer Jokes / Recent Jokes

The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts.

Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating.

After gaping at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be.

The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking,' Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"

Some Leading Papers' Coverage of Custer's MassacreVariety: "Custer Closes Out of Town"Pravda: "Big Red Victory."Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series"Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback"Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff"The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"

The curator of a Western art museum commissioned a local artist to paint a mural-sized painting of Custer's Last Thought. The artist was told to make it highly symbolic of Custer's mindset during the debacle at the Little Big Horn.

Deep in thought, the artist went to his studio. After many false starts, he proceeded to paint an enormous oil painting. Finally, after many months of work, the painting was unveiled for the curator.

In the foreground there was a beautiful blue lake with a single fish leaping out of the water. Around the fish's head was a halo. In the background, the hills and meadows were covered with naked Native American couples having sex.

The curator, both disgusted and baffled by what he saw, turned in rage and asked the artist,' What the hell has this got to do with Custer's Last Thought?'

The artist replied,' Custer's last thought: Holy Mackerel! Where did all these fucking Indians come from?'

The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts. Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating. After gaping at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be. The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking,' Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"

The following are supposedly true headlines that have appeared in papers during the war. Some Leading Papers' Coverage of Custer's MassacreVariety: "Custer Closes Out of Town"Pravda: "Big Red Victory."Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series"Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback"Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff"The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"

The following are headlines that *might* have appeared in papers in the aftermath of Little Bighorn -
Variety: "Custer Closes Out of Town"
Pravda: "Big Red Victory"
Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series"
Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback"
Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff"
The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"

Some Leading Papers' Coverage of Custer's Massacre
Variety: "Custer Closes Out of Town"
Pravda: "Big Red Victory."
Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series"
Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback"
Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff"
The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"